Women Who Run with the Wolves
Sixth Chapter: The Ugly Duckling
Sunday, October 5, 2025, 11:30 MST
In this session, we turn our attention to The Ugly Duckling, one of the most tender and psychologically revealing stories in Women Who Run with the Wolves. Here, Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estés explores the experience of exile, mis-belonging, and the quiet devastation of being born into the wrong nest.
Together, we’ll reflect on what it means to grow up in environments that cannot recognize our nature, how prolonged misattunement shapes self-perception, and why so many women internalize the belief that something is fundamentally wrong with them—when in truth, they are simply not where they belong. We’ll explore the grief of delayed belonging, the resilience required to survive periods of loneliness and rejection, and the moment of awakening that occurs when the psyche finally recognizes its own true form.
This chapter invites us to soften toward our own histories of displacement, to honor the instincts that carried us through, and to gently consider where we may still be mistaking survival for identity—forgetting that what we are becoming was always encoded within us.
Please feel free to join our Women Who Run with the Wolves group on Insight Timer to introduce yourself to the group and reflect on this week's journal prompts, and if you're interested in participating in the interactive format, send Kristen a message with your responses.
Chapter Reflections
The Fairytale of The Ugly Duckling
1. Where in my life have I learned to interpret not belonging as a personal failure rather than a mismatch of environment?
What messages did I internalize about myself during that time?
2. What parts of me learned to survive by shrinking, hardening, or going quiet in order to endure misattunement or rejection?
Are these strategies still needed today?
3. Can I name a season in my life when I was “in the wrong nest”?
What instincts helped carry me through, even when I didn’t yet understand who I was becoming?
4. Where might I still be waiting for permission or recognition from those who cannot truly see me?
What would it feel like to release the need for that validation?
5. What qualities in me were misunderstood, criticized, or ignored—yet later revealed themselves as strengths or sources of beauty?
How do I relate to those qualities now?
6. How has prolonged mis-belonging shaped my self-image, voice, or expectations of love and acceptance?
What compassion does this younger part of me need today?
7. If I trusted that my nature is intact—even after years of hardship—what would I allow myself to move toward now?
What environments, relationships, or rhythms feel like true water for me?